You feel calm because you are now less tense. You feel blissful because now you are clinging less to your miseries; you are not creating them. You feel collected. It is not that you have come to realise the one, but only because now you are less divided. Remember this your growth is negative, You are just hot water. the possibility is there that any moment you will come to the point where evaporation happens. When it happens, you will not feel calmness, you will not even feel blissful, you will not feel silent, because these attributes are relative to their opposites. When you are tense, you can feel silence. When you feel noise you can feel stillness. When you are divided, fragmentary you can feel oneness. When you are in suffering, anguish you can feel bliss.
That is why Buddha was silent – because language cannot now express that which is beyond polarities. He cannot say, ” Now I am filled with filled with bliss” is possible only with a background of suffering and anguish. You can feel health only with a background of illness and disease; you can feel life only with a background of death. Buddha cannot say, “Now I am deathless,” because death has disappeared so completely that deathlessness cannot be felt.
If the misery has disappeared so completely how can you feel blissful? If the noise and the anguish are so absolutely non existent , how can you feel silence? All these experiences, feelings are related to their opposites. Without their opposites they cannot be felt. If darkness disappears completely how can feel light? it is impossible.
Buddha cannot say, ” I have become light!” He cannot say, Now I am filled with light, ” If he says such things, will stay he not yet a buddha. He cannot utter such things. Darkness must be there if you want to feel light; death must be there if you want to feel deathlessness. You cannot avoid the opposite. It is a basic necessity for any experience go exist. So what is Buddha’s experience? What so ever we know it is not that. It is neither negative nor positive, neither this nor that, And what so ever can be expressed , it is not that .
That is why Lao Tzu insists so much that truth cannot be said, and the moment you say it you have falsified it. Already it is untrue.