Every New Year we try to create a resolution for ourselves. Mostly it is to give up something. Mostly it is to bring some change in ourselves. But then why do most New Year Resolutions fail.
As a human being we are blessed to expand. Contraction is against the natural low. Existence is expanding every moment and we are part of the same. Suppression and controls are against law of nature and therefore any kind of suppression or control on us is bound to fail resulting in failure of most resolutions.
I have heard people taking pledge to give up smoking or alcohol from the first day of New Year. Maybe they follow it for couple of days or weeks, just as old habits die hard, they are back again with their smoking and alcohol. So is it futile make a resolution? Yes and No.
Any resolution backed with weak will is bound to fail. As a matter of fact, we create resolution for petty things like giving up smoking or alcohol. Because they are petty, we do not back them up with all our will and so we end up failing.
How can we make resolution successful?
If we want to give up smoking or alcohol, our resolution should be how to become healthier. This a positive way to look at your health with more care and caution. If you find smoking or alcohol as an obstructor in your way to be become healthier, you will surely look for ways to give it up smoking and alcohol. The realisation of smoking and alcohol as obstructer will surely help you reduce them from the current level and will eventually lead you to give them up. Become healthier will be backed up by a stronger will then to suppress the habit of smoking or alcohol.
Similarly, if someone is a spendthrift, his resolution should not be to drop spending rather, to become richer in the next year and set a target for the new year. If he finds that his spendthrift nature is in some way becoming a trouble for achieving his financial target, he will in natural way improve upon it. There will be a much stronger will to become richer than to suppress his spendthrift nature.
I had a client other day who wanted to improve his behavior, he told me he wants to give up his anger. Now this client is extremely argumentive as well. I asked him what makes him angry? , what happens when he becomes angry? My next question was what benefit you will get if you stop becoming angry. All through his session I was observing his tone and body language very carefully and I was happy to note some distinct changes. He realised that he is using anger energy wrongly and throwing up on others that is causing more anger instead he can use this energy to become more healthy, he decided that whenever he will have such eruption he will become more aware of it and will go for running or cycling so that he can give a pause to the thought that is making him angry and hence it becomes easier to transform the anger into a useful energy. I am sure in this new year he will not push himself to drop his anger rather push himself to become aware of it and transform the same.
We should remember that life is perfect in all dimensions, we have brought the imperfections ourselves and hence we should own the responsibility without any regret. New Year is surely an opportunity to improve upon what we have lived so far but with any regret or guilt. Let us Celebrate this New Year with much fanfare and come out of slumber of pandemic. Fill the world with immense joy and happiness that it washes away all pain, agony, and depression of 2021 that we experienced due to Covid. Wish you all a very Happy New Year.