This is the most difficult question bothering us today, whether to express or contain in your heart – your emotions. This depends on emotion to emotion, person to person, and situation. One needs to use his wisdom to react in a particular manner. Our emotions are the most complex aspect of our being. Nobody can judge or assess them…

…Emotions rule the roost!

A human being is full of emotions from the time he arrives in this world. He begins getting emotionally attached to his mother, then his father, then his siblings, and then everyone else around him. He reciprocates emotionally to his situations which defines his personality later on. One’s childhood displays “no hold” emotions, emotions are at play at the slightest instance/ provocation. During teenage, one tries to conceal his emotions and expresses his feelings not that easily. He is aware, that display of his emotions may lead to mockery or rather strange reactions.

Growing up further, he knows to express himself in a controlled manner, this is where the management of emotions comes into play. He becomes sensible/judgemental about where & when to express and where not. People who are aggressive by nature, throw their emotions at the slightest behest whereas quiet and composed people assess the situation to react in a particular manner.

There is no human being on this planet who is bereft of emotions, emotions are an integral part of our system. Those who are in control of their emotions, express them beautifully in poetry or writing or music or dance or follow any other creative pursuit. Whereas those who do not control their emotions become destructive and their emotions become a burden on them and those around them.

Hence there is a need to control your emotions. But can you do it? While we can’t eliminate emotions – nor would we want to – we can manage our emotions in such a way that we stay in the driver’s seat. This is known as emotional self-regulation. Your mental health can improve significantly when you develop strong emotional regulation skills.

Are emotions a choice? One of the most common fictions is that we have little or no choice in how we feel. That doesn’t mean that we can choose never to feel painful emotions. Anger, shame, guilt, fear, sadness, and other painful emotions play an important role in our lives and even in our survival.

If you manage your emotions well, by expressing yourself at the right time and right proportion, you should not always abstain from suppressing them.  Ignoring your sadness or pretending you don’t feel pain won’t make those emotions go away.

These will worsen with the passing of time. And there’s a good chance suppressing your feelings will cause you to turn to unhealthy coping habits like smoking or drinking. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings while also recognizing that your emotions don’t have to control around. If you are angry, you can choose to calm yourself down.

How can you have better control over your emotions:

  1. Label your emotions: You can label your emotions by paying close attention to what’s going on inside of you. Put a name on your emotions particularly when you are experiencing a whole bunch of emotions at once–like anxiety, frustration, and impatient. This way you can take a lot of the sting out of the emotion. It can also help you take careful note of how those feelings are likely to affect your decisions.
  2. Reframe Your Thoughts: Your emotions affect the way you perceive situations. If you’re feeling anxious and you get a call from your boss that he wants to meet you. You might assume you are going to get fired. If however, you feel happy when you get that same message, maybe you are going to be promoted or congratulated on a job well done. Notice the change.
  3. Engage in a Mood Booster: When you’re in a bad mood, you’re likely to engage in activities that keep you in that state of mind. Isolating yourself, mindlessly scrolling through your phone, or complaining to people around you are just a few of the typical “go-to bad mood behaviours” you might indulge in.

So, how can you boost your mood?

  • By calling a friend to talk about something pleasant
  • Go for a stroll in the park
  • Meditate for a few minutes.
  • Listen to some soothing music.

For this, you need to keep practising your emotional regulation skills as managing your emotions is not that easy. But the more time and attention you spend on regulating your emotions, the mentally stronger you will become. You will gain confidence in your ability to handle discomfort while also knowing that you can make healthy choices that shift your mood.

Happiness is the key to survival and managing your emotions well will help you with that. So, HappyHo!