Nandita Kochar
Polite minds are taught right from the beginning that when asked about themselves, they must only utter one or two (superficial) statements. And then should immediately transfer the spotlight to the other person – ask them about how their new boss is treating them or whether the recent diet switch worked for them or how their spouse is doing. Otherwise these minds will be accused of a heinous crime – self absorption. Happyho also provides best Meditation and Tarot classes in Noida and Delhi NCR India area
But this rule fails to work its way through different ways of talking about oneself. There are both better and worse ways to talk about oneself. It does not matter for how long one talks about oneself, rather what matters is how one does so.
There is one particular way which always seems to work – to talk about our vulnerabilities and errors. To confess to someone about how sad we are, why our project at work got rejected and how that made us feel, why our partner won’t appreciate us anymore contains the least amount of our praises and yet the most amount of our authentic self. This approach never fails in winning over the hearts of the right people.
For both the speaker and the listener, this approach brings forth an important truth – we are not alone in our suffering, we are not as blessed by the gods of trouble as we’d like to believe. To gain this perspective in a world where the media constantly bombards us with the successes and smiles of others, is gold.
We put in so much effort to be perfect when it is our failure that usually ends up charming someone.
Revealing these wounds might end up putting us in great danger sometimes. The other person could laugh or walk away or start avoiding us altogether. But that’s what makes us appreciate this revealing even more because we realise that when given to the wrong hands, it can stir up our worst fears but when given to the right ones, it can make us trust someone deeply again with the keys to our self respect and dignity.
It’s deeply poignant that we try to put so much effort in looking strong before the world when it is actually our sadness, melancholy, anger, disappointment that actually helps us transform strangers into friends.