Love is as critical for us as oxygen; its importance is non-negotiable. When we are connected, our physical and mental selves are healthy. The less connected we are, the greater the risk we face. No matter how much one would like to deny it, love forms the foundation of a fulfilled life!
Our culture teaches us that love just happens. As a result, most of us sit around waiting for someone to sweep us off our feet. But love doesn’t work that way. To get love and keep love you have to go out and be active, learn a variety of specific skills.
And it is one such skill that we shall be discussing in this article – moving from the lower to the higher rung of love. What is this ladder of love? What happens when you are at the lowest step? How does your outlook towards love change when you are at the top? Let’s discover this skill at length, shall we?
When you take the first step on this ladder, love is more or less a power politics, the kind that exists between husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, parents and children. The whole deal is driven by power, by your urge to dominate the other. You wish to prove your superiority through each action. And that’s why love creates more jealousy, disappointment, possessiveness, misery at this stage as compared to joy. And you are not participating in this politics deliberately or consciously. After all, who would want to invite sadness onto their doorstep? It’s all a call of the unconscious.
There is nothing wrong with being at the lower rung of love. In fact, one can use it as a stepping stone to what lies above – the higher rung where love is pure, unmotivated. Only at the highest peak, love is limited to a relationship any more, love becomes a state of your being. Here, love is unaddressed: you don’t love this person or that person, you simply love. This love is unconditional: you don’t love based on the conditions you are in, you simply love. You are love.
How to experience this kind of love? When at the lower rung where love is driven by motives, meditate. Watch the cunning ways of your mind. When you say something to your partner, observe: Why are you saying it? Is there some motive behind? Then what is it? Be aware of that motive, bring it to consciousness because anything that becomes conscious disappears. One by one, when your motives are brought out into the light, they shall slowly die.
And when love is unmotivated, then love is the greatest thing that can ever happen to anybody. Then love is simply not one of the emotions you might feel from time to time. Love is who you are.
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