Love may be in the air, for most happy couples, all during the day but just a single whiff of money related discussions can take it all away. From who pays for the electricity bills to who forgot to pay these bills and now has to pay the fine, money, in the capitalistic world that we live today, plays a very important role in contemporary relationships. But one sad thing about money is that the romantics forgot to include it in their philosophy of love and so many of us, even though we have learned how to write poems for our partners, do not know how to write them bills.
So how does one discuss the dollar without damaging what is otherwise a fulfilling relationship? Here are some tips:
Make Sure What You Intend To Discuss Is Actually About Money
Many a time, the issue at hand is less about money and more about self-esteem, control, security or trust. Before discussing the issue with your partner, be honest and ask yourself if money is actually the cause of the trouble or whether we are dealing with a bigger problem here, of which money is just a symptom. Happy Ho organizes best Meditation and Tarot classes in Noida and Delhi NCR area in India.
Be Honest To Yourself About How You Feel About Money
Are you a spender or a saver or just neutral? Did you have enough money while growing up? Did your parents’ salaries make you feel secure? Be aware of where it is that you exactly stand when it comes to money. Afterall, what you’ll be discussing is not just some piece of paper but something that also been attached with certain emotions.
Find A Calm Time To Talk
Discussing a money related matter right in the middle of a financial crisis will not get the best out of either you or your partner. So it’s best to do this once the high tides have passed. Put out how you feel (rather than how your partner makes you feel) about the cash in the house. Let your partner be listened to too. Ask them how they feel about money and let them know how you do, too.
Discuss hypothetical solutions to money related problems you two might face in the future – fired from a high paying job, having separate bank accounts, lost credit card and so on.
Some people may not be immediately ready to talk about money. Give them some time but be persistent. If they still do not bring things to the table, that’s a red flag right there.
Understand Your Partner’s Perspective
Research says that while women tend to be more stable and saving (for emergency situations) when it comes to money, men tend to be more risky and see money issues as a threat to their self-esteem.
Try and understand your partner’s perspective. Manytimes, you two will agree to disagree but don’t let such disagreements become so big that they come into the way of your overall goals as a couple.
Set Rules & Limits
Now that everything is set, it is important to come up with general spending rules or limits.