Quite often, even though our calendars are filled with crosses and short phrases, our hearts feel empty. We may know better about where we will be in the next five years than we know about in the next five seconds. We seem to be suffering from an excess of orderliness, caution and structural rigidity and we suffer from a lack of spontaneity. Our words are measured, our limbs are tight and our hearts are dry. We haven’t hopped around for quite some time now.
What would a more spontaneous life look like then? Preferably the one where we have less fear and doubt about our authentic beliefs and values. Around friends, without much thought, we can tell them about our most embarrassing times. With our partners, we could wear pyjamas to a date night. With family, we could discuss our hurt and disappointment regarding the way we were raised. In bed, we could work on our often ignored wild fantasies. In our work, we could finally start working on a project that has been sitting at the bottom of our bucket list for really long now. In our leisure time, we could read a book or two sitting at the side of the fireplace or grab a cup of tea as it rains or embark on an impromptu solo trip.
Spontaneity is not something we never had to in the first place but rather something we were born with and forgot to nurture and cultivate over time. Usually, from birth, we are stripped layer by layer of our enthusiasm. When we lick the leftover chocolate cake batter, or spill glitter all over ourselves or ring the neighbour’s bell sometimes and run, we are made to feel shame, guilty and like a mess.
This was us as children and we carried this guilt and shame into our adulthood. Rigidity, structure, orderliness were born as a result. These three allowed us to control our spontaneity even more.
As children, to protect us our parents curtailed on our spontaneity. But as adults, we no longer have to live under the guidance of our parents, we can take control of our lives. So maybe it’s time to spill some glitter on ourselves when we are sad (and wash the clothes later), lick the leftover batter (and clean your face a few mins later). Ringing the bell of a neighbour could work if you present them with a bottle of wine later, as an apology. (winks)
It’s time we loosened our limbs a bit, let our words flow and let our hearts feel and thus, heal. Not every action of ours will have a strong consequence, or create a ripple in the functioning of the world. Our actions are not as important as them seem; it’s time we lifted the weight off ourselves. It’s time we released our true self, caged and terrified of stepping out, at the moment. And let it fly!
To repeat, it’s time we loosened our limbs a bit, let our words flow and let our hearts feel and thus, heal.