Everything you are doing every moment is to satisfy yourself. You always avoided that which brought negative-satisfaction. Yet, you are not satisfied . This is worldliness. If you would have focused from day one to satisfy the hunger of your soul, by now you would be a yogi. Ever satisfied. Never with a complaint.You still have time, can you not press the reset button and live a life of Atma-Sakshatkar and be free of pains and suffering once and for good?