Acceptance is the ultimate reality of life. You must learn to accept when times are tough. We are not saying that you accept whatever comes your way without resisting, but where the situation demands, you must accept. Acceptance is not surrendering to circumstances but it is practical wisdom. Resistance is the other side of the coin when you resist to mould your circumstances and make things go your way. That is also a good way of living a happy life but suppose this does not happen, then acceptance is the only aspect that provides solace.
“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance and inverse proportion to my expectations.” ― Michael J. Fox
It sounds easy to move on the path of acceptance. It has been noticed that generally people hold to their version of reality. It may be based on regret, disappointment, denial, or just waiting for something better promotion, a cosy home, a swanky car, a new place, a career, retirement, or whatever. Failing to connect with reality is why some of us have pants in the closet that have not fit in years. More significantly, it keeps people in unfulfilling jobs or even in the wrong profession entirely.
So, how can you accept yourself, your life, and your reality:
- Accept yourself. Acceptance is the ability to unconditionally value all parts of who you are.
- Acknowledge your reality.
- Practice radical honesty.
- Identify your part.
- Admit your mistakes.
- Own your outcomes.
- Do not let fear get in your way.
- Count on your competencies.
“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” – Nathaniel Branden
As a first measure, we must start accepting ourselves conditionally including our merits and flaws. God created us unique and we are unique. We should take pride in this aspect of our life. You must value all aspects of who you are. That means you acknowledge all of yourself–the good and the things that need improvement. For most of us, self-acceptance can be hard. We tend to be critical of ourselves, but there are several ways to learn to accept yourself and your life. It all begins with your state of mind.
“Humility means accepting reality with no attempt to outsmart it.” ― David Richo
Now that you have started accepting the way you are, you need to fully accept your reality. To fully accept your reality, it is important to acknowledge any role you may have played, good or bad, in getting where you are. You should ask yourself questions related to your current situation to help work toward solutions. To fully accept your reality, it is important to identify what you may have done to foster success or failure. Once you know what you are dealing with, you can work toward the best next steps.
Now, that you have understood how to value acceptance, you also need to understand what is resistance. We have noticed that people are unable to define it in absolute terms, including motivational speakers as they cannot break down words into a core concept. Instead, they resort to fancy wordplay to dance around an idea that they cannot communicate.
Take, for instance, you do not like driving like me. But you need to drive to work or run errands or social functions because public transport is not that good, driver you cannot afford and you have a car. Driving is a need, which you cannot avoid but you get impatient and irritated every time you get to the wheel. Is it the right thing to do? Are you driving safely with such a state of mind? No, you are risking your life and others’ lives too. Despite your mental protests, you need to get the work done. You need to realize that driving for a few minutes will lead you to an enjoyable part of the day. So, remain focused, and accept driving as the reality of life. Then I began to wonder.
Now you need to ponder how many other things in life you are resisting instead of accepting and experiencing them.
“You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Acceptance is one of the most curious or active of human traits. I say curious because it sounds passive, like an attitude that would invite the world to walk all over you and then wipe its boots on you for good measure.
Acceptance opens the door to action and sometimes that action is life-changing. In other words, acceptance is not the passive noun that it appears to be. It is an active verb.
Look, for instance, at that period when we were not accepting that coronavirus had anything to do with us. Life went on, we made little jokes about washing hands before shaking hands, wearing masks all the time, avoiding stepping out, and using sanitiser all the time and we trusted that it would all blow over.
Then, at some tipping point, most of us accepted that this thing was a real challenge in our own lives, that it was a very big and dangerous challenge, and that life as we knew it could not continue uninterrupted. After months of resistance, we accepted that Corona is for real and it is for us. Now that we accepted it, life has become peaceful and we accept that it is going to alter our lives forever!
So, accept things as they are and resist things whenever it is needed. Be HappyHO.