As children, we were dependent on others for our emotional fulfillment. As adults, we have a choice – to live with the neglected wounds or to attend to them before they turn into scars. So here’s a list of things you can say to your inner child in order to kickstart the healing!
1. I love you
As children, many a times we were told very indirectly that we have to achieve certain grades or accolades or meet a certain requirement in order to hear the three words from our caregivers. And then there were caregivers who did not express any love towards us because they saw it as a sign of weakness.
But we can tell ourselves that we are loveable now. And we need not achieve any milestone to say it. We are loveable as we are. So say it whenever you see yourself in the mirror. Say it in any random moments. Love is the key to healing, so give it to yourself.
2. I am listening to you
When we were little and were upset over something, we were told to hush up and sweep the sadness under the pillow. But these unheard feelings don’t go away; they stay inside and burst out someday, till we decide to listen to them. Instead of suppressing the voice of your inner child, say, “I am listening to you. We’ll work through it. It’s going to be okay.”
3. You deserved better
As children, some of us went through abuse in the form of physical hittings or emotional neglect or even sexual. As children, many of us assumed that we deserved to be abused, shamed, or abandoned. We told ourselves that we were a bad kid, that we did something wrong. However that is not true; it’s the adults around us who did not know how to act better. As a child we thought we deserved this abuse, shame or abandonment but as adults we know better.
4. I forgive you
As a child, we might have hurt someone or thought bad of someone. To this day, we might dislike and hold grudges against ourselves for doing what we did. One of the quickest ways to destroy ourselves is to hold on to shame and regret. As a child, we thought there was no way to come out but to dislike ourselves for the act but as adults, we can always try forgiving ourselves and making amends.
5. You did your best
When we were little, we were conditioned to always outperform someone else to feel validated. When we managed to do so, it still did not feel good on the insides. But I did the best I could at the time, and you did too. We’re still doing the best we can, and we deserve some credit for that. When we let go of perfection, the fear of failure recedes. Then we can allow ourselves to experiment and see how things unfold.
6. Thank you!
Thank your inner child to bringing you to this present moment, through all the struggles and hardships. Each moment made better by your inner child was a moment earned to teach you that you do matter. So it’s time, you showed some gratitude.