Often our expectations are wrong. We seek love and happiness from those who are incapable to give, and all of us make this mistake – that is why the world is in such a mess : we are all trying to give each other bliss, without bothering whether we have any of it ourselves in the first place. The result is that we all want to give happiness, we all want to give bliss, but we only succeed in making each other more miserable. No one is able to give happiness to anyone else.
Our belief system is such that, when we talk about the relationships,we try to manage each other, try to change each other and sometimes we try to even change each other’s identity also. Why can’t we accept each other the way God has made each one of us by appreciating, loving, trusting each other and above all praising the qualities one has…without any expectation. “So if you want to seek happiness, try to follow the pattern of happy life.”
We all are trying to please each other. It is not that we are not really trying-
“We are”. There is no question about it, there is no doubt that we are trying. But we are trying without ever pausing to consider how we can give something to someone else which we ourself do not possess.
The husband is trying very hard to make his wife happy, but she is just becoming more miserable. The wife is trying very hard to make her husband happy, but he is thinking, ” what sort of trouble have I landed myself into? how can I escape?”
The father is trying to please his son and the son is thinking about when he will get a chance to escape from the clutches of the father. Sons are trying to please their fathers and the fathers are hitting their heads and saying, ” what sort of terrible sons were born into my family?”.
The wife herself is not happy and she is trying to make her husband happy. He is himself is unhappy and is trying to make her happy. The father is unhappy and is trying to please his son. This is madness. What sort of arithmetic is this? I cannot give you what I do not have.
And this is also a part of it, that I do not have bliss but I am trying to get it from others. I never realise that those people I am expecting bliss from are expecting the same from me. When you are expecting happiness from some one and he is expecting it from you, then your state is like that of the two beggars expecting charity from another !
How can there be any giving both are going to be disheartened, because both will be unsuccessful and will accuse the other one of cheating – that he could have given but he did not. If he was capable of giving he would have .
So it’s time to change the gestalt.. become a King, a giver than from being a beggar. You go on giving and there will never be any questions asked, no expectation ever to be met.
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