A friend, a banking executive, having enormous income, decided to build himself a new home away from the city. His dream materialised into a villa with 10 rooms, a swimming pool, and an enviable view of the lake and mountains. For the first few weeks, he beamed with delight. But soon the cheerfulness disappeared, and six months later he was unhappier than ever. What happened? as we now know, the happiness effect evaporates after a a few months. The Villa was no longer his dream. I come home from work, open the door and …..nothing. I feel as indifferent about the villa as I did about my one room student apartment. To make things worse the poor guy now face a one hour commute twice a day. This may sound tolerable, but studies show that commuting by car represents a major source of discontent and stress, and people hardly ever get used to it. In other words, who ever has no innate affinity for commuting will suffer everyday – twice a day. Any how, the moral of the story is that dream villa had an over all negative effect on my friend’s happiness.
Many others fear no better: people who change or progress in their careers are, in terms of happiness, right back where they started after around three months. The same goes for the people who buy the latest Porsche. Science calls this effect the Hedonic treadmill: we work hard advance and are able to afford more and nicer things and yet this does not makes us any happier. Happyho also provides best Meditation and Tarot classes in Noida and Delhi NCR India area
So how do negative events affect us- say, a spinal chord injury or the loss of a friend? Here, we also over estimate the duration and intensity of future emotions. For example, when a relationship ends it feels like life will never be the same. The afflicted are completely convinced that they will never again experience joy, but after three or so months they are back on the dating scene.
Would not it be nice if we knew exactly how happy a new car, carrier or relationship would make us. Well this is doable in part. Use these scientifically rubber stamped pointers to make better, brighter decisions. 1) avoid negative things that you cannot grow accustomed to, such as commuting, noise or chronic stress. 2) Expect only short term happiness from material things such as cars, houses, lottery winning bonuses and prizes. 3) Aim for as much free time and autonomy as possible, since long lasting positive effects generally come from what you actively do. Follow your passions even if you must forfeit a portion of your income from them. Invest in friendships. For most people, professional status achieves long lasting happiness, as long as they don’t change peer groups at the same time. In other words, if you accent to a CEO role and fraternise only with only other executives, the effect fizzles out.
